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October 06, 2021 3 min read
A good parent never expects a child to be perfect. They simply hope for their child to be kind, honest, caring, and a good human being. When that child exhibits behavior that isn’t appropriate, it is up to you to provide the feedback, advice, and guidance they need to change their behavior and grow with positive qualities.
Parents are tasked with disciplining their children without causing mental and emotional damage. You are often told to stay calm and provide positive feedback to encourage your children instead of discouraging them. Positive feedback can improve your children’s behavior but it has to be given the right way.
Read this article from Boymom Designs to find out how to provide feedback to your kids:
When providing feedback to your kids, it’s best to be specific about what it is that they did to deserve the feedback. For example, “Ryan, I am so proud of you for helping your little sister today. You did a great job helping her with her homework."
The feedback must be specific rather than generalized so that your child knows exactly what they did. This will make them more likely to repeat this good behavior.
“This is not the best way to behave” will not be beneficial for your child to hear. Instead, you can say, “Sweetie, remember to use your inside voice when playing inside.” Use terms and phrases that your children can understand, rather than vague, non-descriptive words. When you do this in a calm and encouraging way, your children are more likely to listen to your feedback.
Providing feedback to a child an hour after they threw a tantrum will possibly have no impact on the child. It is best to speak to your children about their behavior, good or back, soon after the occurrence so that they don’t forget or miss the significance of the moment. Choose the right time and place to give feedback to your kids.
It is impossible to provide positive feedback to your children if you are angry. Regardless of how adequately you select your words and how specific your feedback may be, your children will still hear your angry tone and whatever you say to them will have no significance. Ensure you are calm before speaking to them if you want them to listen to what you have to say.
While it is important to give positive feedback to your children, it is also important to ensure that you do not comment on every single thing they do. When kids need approval for each scribble, homework done, or picture they draw, it is probably because have always been given feedback for everything. It is important to strike a balance between encouraging them and allowing them to develop their own methods of validation.
Self-validation will help them to develop confidence in themselves and their abilities so that even when no one is there to encourage them, they will trust that they have done their best.
Without the ability to self-validate, they will be much more exposed to external influences that will come their way in the form of peer pressure and bullying. Encourage your children, but never do it so much that they rely only on your feedback to feel like they have done well.
Feedback is an excellent parenting tool that when honed, can help your child to develop a higher level of confidence and to feel more secure in your love. Find the perfect balance for you and your child and watch their confidence grow.